Thursday, March 3, 2016

Let's Talk About Sex- Part 3


I'm glad that you all are enjoying our discussion on S-E-X. This is one subject I knew would get attention and I was hesitant to talk about because I am a pretty open person when it comes to talking about sex and didn't want to go overboard but its been quite the contrary. People love my candidness and forthright discussion on the topic, so I wanted to talk about something that is fairly new to me (yea me...giggles*). In the last couple of years I have heard the term SAPIOSEXUAL quite a lot. When I heard it I thought it was another derogatory name for someone who was homosexual until someone told me what it was and a lightbulb went off in my mind and I've been a certified ROMANTIC Sapiosexual ever since! So what is it?


With the degradation of relationships in our society, people are looking for more than a pretty face and someone that can knock their boots. They want someone who connects with them mentally, stimulates their mind, can carry an intelligent conversation, and has more to talk about then sex. I turned 39 on January 7th and let me tell you, I feel older and I am starting to show signs of aging. Beauty fades but intelligence does not (unless their is a medical reason). Intelligence is always evolving. It is something you can count on, carries you through rough patches and is constantly learning and absorbing. So its no wonder people are so attracted to someone who is intelligent when it comes to relationships and sex. Intelligence is a sign of promise and it can turn someone you would not normally be attracted to, to someone very sexy.


So are you Sapiosexual? FYI the word comes from the word sepiens, which means wise or judicious and the word sexual. I took this test on http://lonerwolf.com/sapiosexual-test/ and here are my results (also shared on my Facebook page):

You have reached 78 of 100 points, (78%)
  • If your score was between:
    0 – 25 points = Intelligence isn’t that attractive or important to you.  You are not a Sapiosexual.
    25 – 75 points = This is an average score.  You do find intelligence attractive but not necessary for sexual attraction.
    75 – 100 points = You’re Sapiosexual.  Intelligence is absolutely necessary for sexual attraction.
    Note:  Scores that fall in between the 25 – 75 point range are common, as most people tend to find intelligence an attractive quality.  However, the higher your score is to 100, the more aroused intelligence makes you.
    The Sapiosexual
    As a Sapiosexual, you have a special fetish for intelligence.  Although you may find the bodies of people attractive, and their personalities charming, unless they show any real sign of intelligence, you will not take any sexual interest in them.  Basically, a person can be the richest, most socially suave person there is, but unless they know the periodic table or the writings of Karl Marx off by heart, they are nothing but a sparkling smile to you.
    To stay long in a relationship, you must be intellectually compatible with your lover, otherwise your union was doomed from the start.  As a Sapiosexual, steamy debate is far more erotic than a baby-oil massage.  Additionally, in life, you’re much more likely to end up with a “thinker” than a “feeler”, and usually find partners in fields that require mental ingenuity rather than brute strength.
I have evolved into a Sapiosexual because my needs have changed but I have never been attracted to a man who can't hold a good conversation (or entertain me with humor). However, in my past I was more attracted to looks and desires than I was intelligence. I have learned that the sexiest man can and will treat you like a dog and the man I wouldn't quite give a second look is the one that treated me like a Queen. So now, I can date a man that isn't a 10 but still be attracted to him like my wet dreams when I think of Idris Alba (fyi he is pretty intelligent).


Have you ever wondered why people teachers and librarians are often depicted as being super sexy? In an anthology released called, The Sexy Librarian's Big Book of Erotica, the author Bix Warden writes in his intro that librarians are often featured in sexual fantasies. He said that he agreed that the brain is the sexiest organ in the body and that intelligence is sexy. He goes on to say that although you do not have to be a librarian to be sexy, librarians are "often smart and sexy, read across many genres, and can converse on many different subjects." So that explains why men are turned on when they say I look like a teacher (or librarian) with my glasses on... Hmm...

Now with every new idea that hits mainstream is the argument against it. So for many, criticizers of the term say that it is idiotic to say you are Sapiosexual because it is saying that if you are not you are attracted to idiots and that Sapiosexuals are in lala land if they are claiming that looks are not a factor in their sexual preferences or attraction to someone. So to refute this statement I can only give my personal reply to this and that of many I have talked to who also claim to be Sapiosexual and that is this: I would rather be with a person who stimulates my mind, caresses my thoughts, and challenges me to be better than to be with someone who can't do all of that and is fine as hell! When it comes down to someone who truly wants a long lasting relationship, you have to look beyond looks, material things and sex (totally off subject right). You have to look for someone who never bores you, keeps you on your toes and enhances you as a person and an intelligent person does that for me and more making them more desirable and sexier to me thus better sex because a great conversation makes me horny! and hey, if you find a man/woman who is sexy on the outside and intelligent on the inside then Ding, Ding, Ding we've hit the jackpot! Can you say awesome sex!





Good reads:
http://www.npr.org/sections/alltechconsidered/2014/12/04/368441691/sapiosexual-seeks-same-a-new-lexicon-enters-online-dating-mainstream
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-empowerment-diary/201408/sapiosexuality-what-attracts-you-the-opposite-sex


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