Sunday, September 25, 2016

Cater to Your Man- part 2

My last blog was part 1 of 2 on Cater to Your Man. The first 3 suggestions were to:
1.  Keep his belly full. The way to a man's heart is through his stomach. This is true for all men, regardless of race or age.  Know what he likes and doesn't like and please ladies, fix his plate for him.
2.  Be his biggest cheerleader. Be supportive of him in all he does. Their are going to be times we don't agree with his decisions and that's okay but we should still be supportive of him (as long as its not harmful to your relationship or you) and cheer him on when he is doing great things!
3.  Be there when he needs you. Women tend to be more emotional than men, so when he comes to you in his time of need be accessible and there for him without being judgmental or critical. Let him vent and know that you are his safe haven.

These are the suggestions from my last blog. To continue, we can cater to our man by:
4.  Keep yourself up. Destiny's child said this in their song, Cater 2 U (among other things) and this is so true. Remind him constantly one of the reasons he fell for you. Keep yourself up by exercising, eating right, and being visually stimulating to him. I'm a thick woman so I tend to be a little self conscious but knowing that he loves my thickness and my curves, gives me reason to prance around the house in something sexy or something of his like his favorite jersey or one of his long tee shirts. It turns me on to know he's watching me when I'm in his line of vision. Keeping yourself up is not just for him. Its for you too. Confidence is sexy to men, so keep yourself up and tease him with your sexiness!

5. Give him a massage. When he comes home from a hard days work, take his shoes off, sit him down, let him get relaxed and give him a massage while letting him know you realize how hard he works to support his family. You can do this while he's sitting up or laying down. Relieving the tension in his body is just as important as relieving the tension in his mind by letting him vent to you. Massages have many health benefits too and we always want to be mindful of our man's health. Massage is also a good way to renew or revive intimacy in your relationship.  A good video on couples massage can be found here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hZepXJgaYvk.

6. Be attentive. All of us are busy and with technology literally at our fingertips, its easy to get sidetracked or off the focus on our man especially in the comfort of home. However, being attentive is one of the keys to catering to your man because being attentive means recognizing his demeanor, foreseeing his needs, putting down our cell phones, and making sure that he is happy and comfortable. Knowing what  he likes and does not like, knowing what irritates him and gets him upset and knowing when he's hungry or horny are all good things to know so we can be attentive before he gets upset, uncomfortable or irritable. We aren't mind readers but being attentive is a start to reading our man.  
7. Keep it spicy in the bedroom. I'm sure you've heard, "what you won't do someone else will." We want to keep things spicy in the bedroom (and out) by being willing to try new things sexually, giving him control in the bedroom, and not withholding the cookies when you're upset. Sex withdrawal is never a good thing for a man. Try role playing, new positions, and letting your hair down in the bedroom. Giving him control does not mean you can't be aggressive but let a man be a man in the bedroom and out. One thing I have tried is being submissive. I must say it was one of the most intimate, exciting, sexual experiences I've ever had. Ladies, try being submissive in the bedroom and see how it enhances the intimacy, desire, and trust between the two of you.

This are just some of my suggestions for catering to your man. Catering to Your man may require different things, but I hope that my suggestions are universal to all relationships in some way.
Catering to our man is not about doing everything he says or neglecting our own needs, its about letting him know you appreciate him, adore him, and have his back. You can't go wrong when you take the time to CATER TO YOUR MAN and if he's a good man, he will return the favor by catering to you.

Have fun and enjoy!

A good article I stumbled on while looking for pictures was 8 Ways to Make a Man Feel Like a Man. Check it out, http://madamenoire.com/56323/8-ways-to-make-a-man-feel-like-a-man/.



Saturday, September 17, 2016

Cater to Him- Part 1 of 2


I would not write about anything that I don't do myself, so one thing that I have found important to me is catering to my man. Our men are dealing with the stresses of life, providing for his home successfully, and is a respected contributor to his community. When he comes home, he should come home to a woman who appreciates his achievements, loves him for who he is, supports him in all his efforts, and is there to take care of his needs.
Now don't get me wrong, I am sure that some of you immediately thought "taking care of his needs" meant sexually, and that is involved BUT taking care of his needs is about CATERING TO HIM and showing him that he is the man of the house and that you are have his back. Its also about showing your adoration for him in many ways.

3 ways you can cater to your man are:
* Keeping his belly full.  The saying "the way to a man's heart is through his stomach" will never get old. Making sure he is fed and fixing things you know he loves says a lot to a man. Also knowing what he does not eat, is equally important. When you cook for your man, cook out of love not out of obligation. The meal and the gesture will be perfect everytime if you do it because you want to and because you want to make sure he is satisfied.



* Be his biggest cheerleader! When he has somethng he is excited about, be excited with him. Our men face enough adversity outside the home, so we don't want him to face that when he comes home. Support him in his efforts especially when they are great ones and be his biggest cheerleader, standing by his side and rooting him on every chance of the way. If you are his biggest cheerleader, trust me (if he's a good man) then he will be your biggest supporter too.



* Be there when he needs you. As women, we tend to be the emotional ones. Men are usually passive but are all about action and doing what needs to be done. If he hits a rough patch, having a hard day, needs to vent, or gets emotional, then be there for him when he needs you. The fact that he comes to you in times of need or just to talk to you about what's on his mind says a lot about how he feels about you. Let him come to you without judging him, giving your feedback or trying to solve his problems. Listen attentively, let him know you are there for him, and be a partner in the resolution.  Men need to be problem solvers so don't tell him what to do but if he's open to suggestions, make them respectfully and be supportive with the decisions he makes (as long as they are positive and not harmful to you). You also have the right to disagree with choices without withdrawing your support for him by still being there for him when he needs you.  

These are just 3 ways you can cater to your man. Tune in for next blog on Catering to Your Man along with some of my favorite songs on the subject!


Wednesday, September 7, 2016

Its National Feel the Love Day!



Today is National Feel the Love Day! Now some of you might be wondering where this "day" came from, and quite frankly, I asked myself the same question for a quick second when I heard it this morning on Streetz 103.3. But that question instantly turned into a smile because my romantic mind started fluttering and instantly I started blushing. That is what the opportunity to be ROMANTIC does for me. Like Valentine's, I love the concept of a day to dedicate to the person you love and cherish. However, in my heart of hearts everyday should be Valentine's Day and every moment should be about feeling the love!

Its so important that we let the people in our lives know how much we love them. This is not just true for our spouse or mate but also for our kids, parents, friends and family. I know that in this moment I am thinking about my father who passed away May 2, 2014. I remember how many times I told him I loved him up until his last breath. Feeling the love is not just about showing it but expressing it as well. I know that my father passed knowing that I loved him despite all else. We never know when someone we love is going to be gone so we always want to say I Love You as much as possible and show in it our actions.



When life gets rough, we are stressed or we are just having a bad day it is always good to come home to someone that loves you. That is one thing I miss about being married, is knowing that there is someone home waiting for me. However, I just as important as the love that comes from an intimate partner is the love that comes from your children. The love my kids give me on a daily basis is perfect, unconditional and the best love a woman could ask for. So today for Feel the Love Day make sure your children know just how much you love them as well.



I'm happy that another day has been dedicated to LOVE especially in this cruel world we live in but it is very important to show love for our special someone every day. Since this is Take Your Man on a Date Month here are some ways to show your man how much you love him with more than just words because 1) Men are Visual, 2) Men are Impulsive and 3) Men are from Mars!

1. Give Him Your UNDIVIDED ATTENTION.  If you are constantly checking your phone and focusing on something else, it may interpret to him that "he is not important." Take time to focus on him and give him your undivided attention. This says to him that he is your priority and that you love him.
2. Cook his FAVORITE MEAL.  "The way to a mans heart is through his belly." This old saying has never failed. Knowing what he likes to eat and cooking his food the way he likes it, is a sure way to show you love him. Knowing that he doesn't like onions in his food, or sugar in his grits or even prefers Hot Sauce over A1 sauce on his steak is significant because it shows you are paying attention to the details and want to please him. Now if he is the man that loves anything you cook, then add dessert. Its nothing like the baked smell of a sweet smelling apple pie or chocolate cake to get his attention and a ROMANTIC night started.
3.  Wear the lingerie or that dress he loves. Yes men are visual! So when we take the time to doll up and get sexy for him. Taking the time to get sexy for him shows him that you still desire him and his response will let you know he still desires you too. Add red to the outfit and you have a win-win. Studies show that red is a aphrodisiac to men so get out that red dress or bra and panty set and show him that loving him comes with rewards.


4. Compliment Him. Genuine compliments on his looks, strengths and accomplishments show him that you admire him, which equates to love. Letting him know you see him the way he wants to be seen is important- as a provider, partner, father, handyman and sex symbol (in your eyes). Complimenting him not only confirms all the hard work he is doing for you and your family and as the man he wants to be for you (and himself) but it also says to him that you are happy with choosing Him to be Your man.
5.  Ask for His Advice. Men are problem solvers. Asking his opinion and asking him for advice shows that you value his opinion, you trust him, and that you need his input on what goes on in your life.  When a man feels he can fix something, according to a leading relationship doctor, he feels "competent and useful." This is important to ALL men. Being an independent woman is a good thing but showing that you need your man (in a healthy way) speaks volumes to him and shows you value his advice and love him.
6.  Thank him for the Little Things. When he does something, acknowledge it and let him know you appreciate him. This will make him feel good and boost his energy. Our men have a lot on their shoulders so showing him that you see what he is doing and it means something, is a lot to them. 
7.  Give Him a Hug. Its all good to give him a nice peck or a pat on the butt but a long lingering hug can do magic. Men are physical and connect through touch (just as much as women).  Taking the time to hold him and letting your body heat, energy and bodies stay intertwined for a moment can really give him something to think about and something to look forward to later.  It also radiates LOVE in so many powerful ways.
8.  Have a Quickie. Yes I said it. Its great to have long passionate love making sessions but a quickie can stimulate his pleasure and reward center that is released every time a man has sex. Women release oxytocin and men release dopamine. Homework: Research why this is a good thing for men. (giggles*). So don't frown on a quickie session. It can be quite healthy for him and being concerned about his health is definitely a sign of Love.


9.  Let Him Vent. When men have something to say, let them say it. We tend to be the chatty ones and wanting to talk about our emotions. When a man comes to you wanting to vent that says alot mainly because men like to be emotionally neutral. Let him vent without interrupting or trying to fix things. This lets him know you care and that you are a safe haven for him. When a man feels that he can come to you and talk to you about anything then he is relaxed, comfortable and feeling your good love for him. 

These are just a few tips that I picked up when reading this article on Womens Day, http://www.womansday.com/relationships/dating-marriage/advice/g1040/how-to-show-a-man-you-love-him/?slide=11. I will be sharing some more tips throughout September for Take Your Man on a Date month. Until then share some of your ways you show your man you love him.