Monday, February 23, 2015

Keys to Romance- Caring is Sharing!

So Valentine's Day has past and hopefully you are still in a romantic mood. Our last Key to Romance as mentioned here is finding out how much you truly care for your special someone. Your special someone is obviously important to you or they wouldn't be special to you, so this is not about how much you care for them but how much you care about their views on romance, showing them love, and treating them to something special on an ongoing basis. 

Some people are not big on romance and that's okay but everyone should be big on loving the one you're with and caring whether they know how much you DO CARE and how much you do feel for them. Your actions speak louder than words, as people say and being romantic is a perfect way to show through actions how much you care for your special someone and feel for them.

You can do this is many ways, big and small, but the its the thought that counts that means the most. By knowing your special someone and the things they like (, knowing what makes them smile (and angry), knowing how to help them relax, enjoy, laugh and feel great are all important in finding ways to show them you care and how you feel about them. Some ways that a person can show me how they care are: 

  1. Be Friends FIRST- Falling in love with your best friend has been and always will be a great experience. As friends you trust each other. You want to be around that person. You can communicate with them openly. You most likely know their friends and family. You can be yourself, which is open and it lays a strong foundation for a greater love that you can appreciate more. Being friends also means that you care about your special someone enough to start off on the right foot by not rushing into a relationship without getting to know each first. And contrary to some, you can be romantic with your friend too. 
  2. Communicate- For me, communicating with the person I am dating throughout the day is important to me. It lets me know that not only are they thinking about me, like I most likely am thinking about them, but it also lets me know that they have taken time out of their day for me and that they care. Even sharing the events of their day and asking about yours shows that they care for you as a person and your well being.Their are many ways to communicate even if you can't pick up the phone- texting or sexting (smile), email, love letters or smoke signals! Be creative (one of your romance traits and communicate often!
  3. Make Time- A person that is truly interested in you or wants to be with you will make time for you. No matter what their busy schedule consists of they will make time to communicate with you, see you, and do things with and for you. Even if its for five minutes, be spontaneous. Spontaneity is high on the ROMANCE meter!
  4. Reliable- Being there for you and each other is a way to show that you really care for a person and that their best interest is a priority to you. That could mean answering the phone when you call, being there when your not feeling well, or just lending an ear when you need to talk. Its even more special, when that person is reliable because they want to be not because they feel obligated because you are dating or in a relationship.  Being reliable and someone I can call whenever I need to vent, cry or share something fantastic is a big deal! It also says that when I want to surprise you with a little ROMANCE, I can count on you to show up (wink*). Side note: a person can be reliable without physically being present so even though we may want to have someone there by our side, not always can a person do so. You can show you care for a person too by understanding that they might not always be able to be there when you need them.
  5. Affectionate- Being affectionate, in my book, is one of the best ways to show me how you feel about me. Kisses in the morning, hugs when I see you, holding hands in the movies, not being afraid to PDA (public displays of affection) are all clear signs that you are really feeling someone and its ROMANTIC too. Its nothing like seeing a couple in love out somewhere kissing and enjoying each others company. It makes you want to say "Get a Room!" with a smile.
  6. Understanding- Being understanding of a persons needs, desires, wants and busy lifestyle is something that takes patience, respect, love and care. All of us work or play, have responsibilities seperate from our intimate relaionships, children possibly, and goals to achieve among the list of other things that make it hard to juggle everything in a short period of time. However, being understanding that we are individuals first and have lives outside of the person we are dating is important. It not only shows that we care about our special someone and them as a person. It also shows that we care about what makes them happy (or sad or angry or another range of emotions). One thing that is important to me, is that the person that I am dating understands that I am a single mother raising my twins. If they can understand that my time revolves around them and my job as a mother comes first and foremost then they already have gained my respect and my gratitude. It not only shows that they care about me as a mother, but they also care about my children, in some way. Understanding a person can also help you be romantic because you have the inside scoop to what's most important to them. Don't take advantage of what you know. Build on it!
  7. Be Consistent- One thing I have learned about dating is that more often than not, you meet a person's representative the first couple of dates. That means that people tend to act, look and show their best in the beginning (or at least try to) and that the commuication, affection, time and romantic gestures are top notch until they get you. We've all been there at some point in our dating career. So a person who starts off one way and continues to be that way and you love it is probably a keeper. Being consistent builds trust, love and ROMANCE. Being consistent also means that you are not just romantic on Valentine's Day or their Birthday or your Anniversary, but you are romantic throughout the year throughout your relationship. Remember you can be romantic on a budget (, the little things DO MATTER and if you really know your special someone, being romantic is easy. Be consistent at being a great friend, partner, and lover and this will show that you care about the way your special someone perceives you from the beginning of your relationship and in the future. Its nothing wrong with switching up every now and then and stepping out your consistent comfort zone but not to the point where the person becomes unsure of who you really are and doubt that you are the person you represented from the beginning.
Caring is sharing. Caring allows us to communicate by sharing our thoughts, ideas and time. Caring gives us the motivation to want to share our time with the special person in our life, even if our time is limited. Caring makes us a reliable source of comfort, support, and sharing our lives with someone sometimes on a deeper level than we may share with others. Caring makes us want to be affectionate with the special person in our life because we want to physically connect with them in ways to pleasure them no matter how subtle. Caring also means that we are understanding of our special person and opens the door for us to share who we are and open ourselves for them to reciprocate and be understanding of us as well. 

I would love to hear how someone can show they care for You! Please post a way a person can show they care for you that might also be romantic.

Friday, February 13, 2015

Its Almost Valentine's! Are you Ready?

Valentine's is almost here and I am super excited? Are you? This is a special day to many of us, not because its the one day to show our love and appreciation for our special someone, but because its the one day that the world celebrates Love! I love the idea of everyone loving Love. Does that make sense? With everything going on in the world, its great to have one day that people are focused on loving each other. Just like when a tragedy happens like 9/11, Hurricane Katrina and the two officers being killed in New York for no reason in their police car,  everyone after those tragic events becomes really nice to each other for just a little while. Is it right? No but I'm sure you will agree with me that after tragedies people get a bit nicer and love harder. Days like Valentine's is a reminder to the world that Love still exists. Love still can make the world a happier place and we all deserve to be loved. We should feel like this all year round but unfortunately some don't, so let's enjoy this day amidst all the everyday tragedies of our world!

We can do this by reaching out to our mothers, sister, aunts, friends, and coworkers. Try donating to a shelter or your local youth fund. Say hello to everyone you pass on the street and smile at everyone you greet. Give a hug to someone you don't know and kiss and hold on to your children extra tight telling them you love them. I'm sure you are ready for Valentine's Day with your spouse, mate, partner or lover but their are others out there that would love to receive your genuine love too. So don't forget those people that loved you from the beginning like your parents, shared in creating your child(ren) and are their for you through ups and downs. Also try to find someone or an organization that you might be able to help this weekend and possibly the rest of the year, such as The Big Brothers and Big Sisters programs, Salvation Army, Goodwill, and your local homeless shelters.

Valentine's Day is thankfully at the beginning of the year. This is a great time to start being romantic with your special someone or continue the ROMANCE that is already evident in your relationship. Don't forget the little things that you can do on Valentine's, like giving your partner a massage, sending them an I Love You text or simply kissing them before they leave for work. You can do this today, tomorrow, and forever. However, don't forget the little things you can do in the community to help others and show love for your neighbors!

Please reply to this post with charities that you have helped in the past and ones you would like to help in the future!

Sunday, February 8, 2015

6 Days Until Valentine's Day- Where are You Going?

Valentine's Day is coming and I hope that you have chosen your special someone to spend this special day with. Now the question is, what to do? When considering a place to go, think about your Valentine. What are some things they like to do? Where are some places they have mentioned that they would like to visit that they haven't yet? Where have they expressed to you that they would like to go with you? What are some things they said they would like to try one day but haven't had the time or money to? What are some new things you might enjoy doing together? Always keep in mind your Valentine's likes, desires, special requests and hints of things they would like to do, see or visit.

You can also consider referrals from friends, family and colleagues or people that share your same interest. Where have they visited and recommended to you? Maybe consider double dating with another couple you enjoy hanging out with? Or maybe you can check your local paper and find out what's happening around town and try something exciting and new together? Do something out the norm for the two of you like taking a road trip for the day, going to a museum, checking out a play or opera or doing something charitable together to make someone else smile. Their are so many things you can do on Valentine's but the idea is to think out the box and do something you will both enjoy, appreciate, remember, and most of all is romantic. 

Valentine's is not just an ordinary day, like a lot would like to believe. Valentine's is full of ROMANCE, great planning, adventures, lots of love and time to spend with your special someone. Its like a second anniversary shared with all the lovers of the world! So don't feel the pressure of buying the most expensive gift or going to the finest 5-star restaurant in town, especially if it doesn't fit your budget. You can enjoy a romantic day with your Valentine that you both will love and enjoy. Just get creative and think to yourself, "What would my Valentine enjoy doing with me?"

Here are some other ideas that might help!

What are your plans for Valentine's? Post them here!

Friday, February 6, 2015

8 Days to St. Valentine's Day- What Does it Mean to You?

Valentine's Day is coming and this is my absolute favorite holiday and one of two that I personally celebrate! Their are many versions of how Valentine's came about but I will share the one that, to me, is very romantic. According to the website,, St. Valentine who was a priest who lived around 270 AD in Rome.  The Roman empire was faced with crisis or attack from all over so more capable men were required to defend the Roman empire. Emperor Claudius II banned or prohibited marriage because he felt that "married men were emotionally attached to their families" so they would not make good soldiers. St. Valentine did not agree with Claudius' ban on marriage and began secretly marrying lovers in secret. When found out, Claudis had St. Valentine arrested and while awaiting sentence in prison he fell in love with the jailors daughter. Before his death, St. Valentine asked for a pen and paper and signed a farewell message to the daughter, "From Your Valentine." St. Valentine was believed to have been executed on February 14 270 AD. It began to be observed by young Romans who offered handwritten notes known as Valentine's and with Christianity it came to be known as St. Valentine's Day.

Valentine's Day has come to be known as the day for lovers. Though I have expressed repeatedly that everyday should be an opportunity for ROMANCE, St. Valentine's Day is the holiday for ROMANCE to show off! For me, Valentine's Day is like Christmas for Lovers. Our families honor Christmas in observance of Jesus Christ and come together with family and friends and exchange gifts. Valentine's is the same thing between two people who adore and enjoy each other. 

Valentine's Day can be a beautiful holiday filled with love, fun, excitement, and future dreams and plans! This is the top date nationally that couples become engaged and start planning a future together. This is the day that all the great candy, novelties and jewelry go on sale for you to afford something extraordinary for your special someone. Valentine's is full of love songs, wining and dining and so much more. For one day everyone loves each other even among strangers. Even if you are Scrooge on Valentine's, its kind of hard to ignore the blushing, smiling, and tears of bliss on Valentine's Day.

So on Valentine's Day ignore your temptation to go on like its another day and do something spontaneous or plan something more special than the norm. Do something you don't normally do, go somewhere you've never been, try something again that you tried once before and loved and just enjoy this day of EXTRA SPECIAL ROMANCE with your special someone.

This day is also great to acknowledge your mother, sisters, mother of your children, and grandmothers even you don't have a special someone currently in your life. Or you can do something special for You! Go get a massage, get your hair and nails done, buy a new dress or suit, take off and rest for the day, take a trip or just treat yourself to that something you saw in the store that you walked away from (and I bet its on sale).

Enjoy Valentine's and get caught up in this day for lovers and just love the one your with and if you're not with anyone, love yourself more!

The history of St. Valentine's Day and some other Valentine's facts can be found at

Please take the time to comment below on "What Does Valentine's mean to You?