Wednesday, May 25, 2016

School is Almost Out!

The kids are about to get out for the summer and many are going to summer camp or off to inlaws and family. However, the big question is what are You going to do with your summer while the children are having fun and out of school? 

For me, the summer is a big deal because the twins go with their dad for the entire summer. I am a single mom so two and a half months of being kid free is like a kid in a toy factory with so much to choose from. Last year I didn't do much but this year I would love to do a few things! There is also a big difference between last year and this year- I am not single!

If you are single, then that's okay. This might be the summer that you get your groove back on an exotic vacation planned for you and your girls (or your boys) but their is nothing wrong with having a fantastic vacation as a single woman or man. We all deserve a vacation especially during the summer months like all the other normal people! So if you don't already have a plan for something to do this summer, plan something- big or small- mini weekend or week long- plan it. School is almost out and that means vacation time is right around the corner!

If you are in a relationship that means that the possibilities just doubled. Double fun and double the budget (hopefully)! This summer, my beau and I are planning to hit Carowinds for his first time, the beach, hopefully a beach I haven't been to before and definitely a couples trip to the ATL. You never know we might be able to fit one more mini vacation in there somewhere. No matter what you do with your significant other, always always find time to add romance to your vacation. More on that in my next blog post.

School is almost out so take advantage of those swimsuit sales and summer blowouts and plan a great vacation!

Saturday, May 7, 2016

Be Direct! Don't Categorize.

Am I the only one when on a dating site and a persons tagline says "hello ladies" or "welcome ladies" or "looking for women" that gets turned off? Or when someone is talking to you about what they want from you but they say "what I want from my woman is," or "my future wife will be" or "I will do these things for her in a relationship" you're thinking he must not want me or he's not too sure about what he wants yet? This can be confusing both ways- man to woman and vice versa. Be direct. If the person you are talking to is front of you, talk to them. Not around them. Not in scenarios. Not in future terms with some future perfect mate. Talk to the person in front of you.

Its much more ROMANTIC for the person you are dating to talk to you directly and tell you what they want for your future with them then to talk about some fictitious person that the two of you haven't even met yet.

Take these two conversations:

Convo 1:
I really want a woman that I can come home to that makes me smile every time I see her. I want a woman that I can text throughout the day and I can't wait to come home too. I will know that she is the one when all I want is her and I stop looking for something more.

Convo 2:
I have been waiting for a woman like you. You make me smile every time I see you. I can see myself coming home to you everyday. I love that when I think about you I can text you or call you and you respond right away. I really feel that you might be the One for me because I don't want anyone else but you. I've stopped searching. 

The first conversation would lead the person you are conversing with to think that maybe she is not the person you want because you are not being direct. Whereas the second conversation is direct. You are letting her know that you feel all these things for her directly. You are not putting her in a category with other women. You are letting her know that she is the one woman that you are talking about, want, desire and are speaking of.

Sometimes we talk in third person or are not direct for several reasons: We are afraid of their reaction. We are afraid that being direct might be too much. We are afraid that maybe the other person doesn't feel the same. We are not sure ourselves if the person we are talking to is the person we want. There are many reasons why we aren't direct or we talk about our needs and wants in a category of women and men, future or her, but if the person you are talking IS the person you are talking about- then be DIRECT and talk TO them not at them. If they are not the person you are talking about then be careful how you say things so you don't possibly offend them or make them feel like they aren't or can't be the person you desire.