Tuesday, July 21, 2015

Beginners Crash Course to Romance

Many people are not hopeless romantics like I would call myself. Yet, we all have the potential to being romantic and adding ROMANCE to our intimate relationships. If you are not the romantic "type" or you are but want to enhance your romantic touch, then let's go on a crash course to get you started on the right track. 

First lets start by reviewing our definition for ROMANCE at one of my first blog postings, http://romancequeen101.blogspot.com/2014/12/what-is-romance.html. We defined ROMANCE as "Romance is HOW you express your affection for your partner IN ADDITION to your normal, everyday routine. Going above and beyond what she expects on a daily basis." So let's start there. Know the definition of ROMANCE and that it means EXPRESS YOURSELF. Do not be afraid to be sensitive, mushy, or silly for expressing how you feel with your words and actions. Make a habit of positively expressing how you feel on a regular basis (and its nice if you notice when their is a change such as a new haircut or pair of shoes that look great on them!). Compliments, terms of endearment, text messages to say you're thinking about your special someone and I Love You all are perfect ways to express yourself romantically to your special someone.

Second, remember that the person you are dating, married to or interested in is special to you and they should be treated as such. Be MOTIVATED by the admiration you have for your special someone to express to them in different ways that they are indeed special to You. In a previous blog post we talked about the Motivation for ROMANCE at http://romancequeen101.blogspot.com/2014/12/what-motivates-romance.html. "LOVE is the motivation for romance and ROMANCE is the motivation for love. When you love someone you want to do things for them to show how much you care for them, how much you appreciate them, and how much you desire them to remain in your life. You want them to know how much you LOVE them through your ACTIONS." Whether you have reached the level or love or a very big like, you chose this person for a reason. Show that reason through your actions. Their is the old saying that never dies, "Action speaks louder than words" but let me add this, "but your words reinforce your actions." Let your Love for your special person MOTIVATE you to want to do actions that show your affection for them and let your words be the reinforcement they need to understand and confirm the actions you put forth. For some actions may be enough but its nothing better than someone doing something loving for you or with you and then saying those three words, I Love You or I Adore You or I Like You. 

Next, KNOW your special someone by listening to them, paying attention to their likes and dislikes, being understanding, compassionate and empathetic. KNOWing the person you want to be romantic with is vital. Not everyone is the same and as we mentioned earlier this person is new, interesting, captivated your attention and is SPECIAL. Never miss an opportunity to get to know the person that you are dating, courting or married to. A famous saying we've all heard is "Life is like a box of chocolates." You have a box of chocolates all different sizes and shapes. Learning a person should be like a box of chocolates, alluring, pleasurable and full of surprises. Take advantage or the time you share with your special someone and get to know them for who they are inside and out. During this lifetime of learning, take bits and pieces of what you learn that are exciting, joyous, fun and admirable about your special someone and feed on it when you want to be romantic. I promise you, you can't go wrong if you take the time to learn what your special someone likes, desires, wants and needs.

Finally, be NATURAL and GO FOR IT. Do not force yourself or your special someone to do something that is uncomfortable, out of their comfort zone, displeasing or disrespectful. Being romantic should be natural. If you wake up in the morning and your special someone is on your mind, call them. If your special someone had a hard day at work, rub their feet. If your special someone wants to go see the newest romance movie, offer to take them. If you see a vacation getaway on TV together that you both think would be great, save up and go! I always tend to find something that denotes love in everything around me. I also always see opportunities to make my special someone smile or make their life easier. Be spontaneous! These are the NATURAL moments that you should just GO FOR IT and you will be amazed at the results. Don't let your ego or pride take away from the chance to be romantic. When it comes to your special someone, be willing to step out the box and try something new and different (regardless if your boys clown you about it). Women like a man that takes the initiative, the lead at planning things and carries through on what he says he will do. Be NATURAL and GO FOR IT. 9/10 you won't regret you did.
Let's review our Crash Course to getting on your ROMANCE track:
1. EXPRESS yourself. Don't be afraid to say how you feel when you feel it when you feel it.
2. Be MOTIVATED to be romantic with someone because they are unique, special and most of all love you and loved by you (or at least very much liked). 
3. Get to KNOW your special someone. This is probably the most important aspect of being romantic. Knowing the person you want to ROMANCE is vital. Not only because you want to please them but because not everything is for everybody. Being romantic is a pleasurable experience for you but should be for them as well. Oh and by the way, being romantic is not about sex so try to make that the icing on the cake and not the whole cake. 
4. Be NATURAL and GO FOR IT. Don't be afraid to do what you feel will leave a great impression, no matter how big or how small. The little things do count (and we will talk about this later). Don't make your efforts forced. If you don't do it from the heart it doesn't matter anyway. Let your creative juices flow and GO FOR IT. Be spontaneous and do what will make him/her smile and enjoy each other in every way possible!

I am planning a paint party with the guy I'm dating and another couple over pizza and wine and checked out this site http://airdriepaintanddecor.com/. Pretty interesting. Take a peek!

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