Wednesday, December 3, 2014

What is Romance?

So what is ROMANCE? Its important for us to define it in order to do it. I'm sure if you do a Google search you will see many definitions. Some will define romance in a fairytale kind of way. Others will define it as something dry and unnecessary and others will define ROMANCE exactly how You feel it should be given credit to be.

Some online definitions that I found that I personally agreed with are as follows:

  1. WikiHow defined being romantic as "unexpected and exciting ways to express your love for another person;
  2. Urbandictionary defined romance as " something simple and sweet that reminds your partner why they fell in love with you the first place" or might I add what attracted you to them in the first place; and
  3. Wikipedia said romance is the "expressive and pleasurable feeling from an emotional attraction towards another person associated with love" or serious attraction or affection.
Okay so lets make a list of key words that will create our list of ROMANCE TRAITS from each definition from popular websites. These Romance Traits are:
  • Exciting
  • Expressive
  • Simple
  • Sweet
  • Memorable
  • Meaningful
  • Loving
  • Pleasurable
  • Emotional and
  • Attractive
This is a pretty wonderful list and I don't think its necessary to define each of our Romantic Traits in detail. However, if you look at all the traits together or individually you have the recipe or road map for a pretty romantic future and what it will entail. 
Its not hard. ROMANCE is not a mystery. It takes time. It takes effort. If you care for someone, show them. Its great to say I Love You. Its awesome to take care of home. Its amazing that you can be faithful, trustworthy and supportive. These are all natural, everyday, normal, healthy relationship characteristics. But do you take the extra TIME AND EFFORT to show it in exciting, sweet, memorable ways?

Many of you have heard of the book, Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus. If you haven't read it, its a pretty good read and you can purchase it here Its true, men and women think differently. Men are not overly concerned with being romantic or being romanced. A man's perfect date might be described as "we went to Friday's, grabbed a beer, watched the game, stopped and grabbed a Redbox movie and watched Terminator before getting some really good sex and passed out." Straight to the point, no chaser, literally.

For most women (not all) romance is the bonus of being with a good man. A woman's perfect date might be described as, "we went to this really quaint restaurant and sat at a private table where we had a picturesque view of the sunset, great conversation all night, shared dessert (yes he fed me), and talked about the weekend coming. He surprised me on the way home by stopping at the park for a while while we held hands and just enjoyed being together away from the kids. We stopped and grabbed the latest Twilight but before we could watch the movie he ran a hot bubble bath and even had my favorite wine and some ripe strawberries, that he also fed me and we made love until the sun came up and I fell asleep in his arms." Detailed, planned, and romantic.

Both went on the same date but their were more memorable events that took place for her that made it romantic for her. And guess what? She probably was blushing and smiling all night and told one if not all of her girlfriends the next day making them all envious. The romantic touches didn't cost a lot of money and she feels loved, appreciated and desirable.

So what is ROMANCE in a nice pretty bow? Romance is HOW you express your affection for your partner IN ADDITION to your normal, everyday routine. "Going above and beyond" what she expects on a daily basis. You don't have to be romantic everyday, though some are capable of doing so (our "because she deserves it" type we talked about yesterday), but its taking the time and effort to be romantic often enough to be a CONSISTENT practice in your relationship thus what- keeping ROMANCE ALIVE!

I hope that this post today is the start of your Romantic How To, or a refresher for some. I also hope that you see that being romantic is not hard at all. Until next time, your homework is to review your Romance Traits and file them in your memory. Have a great night and dream of your special someone.

"Romance is the glamour which turns the dust of everyday life into a golden haze."- Elinor Glyn