Someone asked me how can they can be intimate without being sexual. Below I have suggested 10 ways to be intimate (and maybe sexual too).
1. Be affectionate. Sometimes being affectionate is what you need. Touch is something that everyone needs whether its hugging, holding hands, kissing or rubbing. Touch is a way to express your appreciation, admiration and attraction to the person you love. Even in the middle of an argument or a bad day, a close hug for 30 seconds can make the situation better. Try it. It works!
2. Express yourself openly. Sometimes we hold back when we are talking to people but when it comes to communicating with our partner we should be able to talk about everything, no matter how big or small it is. Trusting your partner with detailed information about our past and our dreams and desires is important. By doing so, we open the door for our partners to reciprocate and trust us with their details too.
3. Tell someone why you love and appreciate them. Sometimes we get so caught up in our daily routines that we forget to tell the people sharing our daily lives with us that we love and appreciate them. Even more, we forget to tell them why we love and appreciate them and show that we love and appreciate them. Having the reassurance of knowing your loved and appreciated by your partner makes everything else worth it!
4. Make time for your mate. A couple blogs ago we talked about Date Night and the importance of making time. Refer back to this blog and make time for your mate as much as possible!
5. Try something new (in and out the bedroom) together. Trying something new with your partner gives you the opportunity to talk about new subjects you might not have addressed before, fulfill fantasies, learn something new about each other and go places you never thought you would. Doing this for the first time together gives you an experience together that has never been shared with anyone else! Agree to open yourself to enjoy the experience even if you don't do it again! You can't get more intimate than that.
6. Make love. There is a difference between just having sex, a quickie on your lunch break, or the F word. Make love to your partner by giving the full experience of foreplay, passionate kissing, exploring each others bodies, taking your time, pleasing each other (not just yourself),finding your rhythm as a couple, and hopefully climaxing together.
7. Write a love letter. If you are like me, you often can express yourself better from writing. I also like the look on someones face when I hand them a letter. Its more personal then texting or sending them a message on Facebook. It actually takes more time as well, so writing a love letter can be more intimate in nature because you are able to take more time to write and go back over your words before you pass it on for the person intended to read it. I also tend to say things in a letter that I am too shy to say face to face. So take a moment to put your thoughts on paper and (stationary would be even better) and let your emotions take on new meaning. Its also nice for the person who receives it to have it to read over and over :).
8. Look into each others eyes. When was the last time you stopped and actually looked into your partners eyes (or looked at them period)? I know that when the man I am dating stops me in my tracks, turns me to face him and looks in my eyes I melt... literally. Seeing the love and appreciation in your mates eyes is not only intimate but romantic too. It can spark something deep down inside (and between your legs) that needed to resurface (or appear for the first time). Its a way of saying without words that I notice you and depending on the depth you find in your partners eyes you can see their attraction and hunger for you too. Looking into each other eyes is also a sign of respect and understanding when you are talking to each other. Its way better than turning your back when someone is talking to you! Try it and watch the fireworks explode!
9. Listen without judgment. One thing we want to avoid is being critical and judgemental of each other. So when our partner is communicating openly we want to listen openly without judging, responding or being critical. Sometimes a person just needs to vent and get some things off their chest and the person they chose to do that with is- You, their partner. Even if you feel some kind of way about what they say refrain from reacting while they are talking (even non verbally if you can) and just listen. When they are finished feel free to ask if you can respond or make a suggestion or hug or hold them (if they aren't already cuddled under you or reaching for you). Having someone just listen can be free therapy. I know it is for me. It is also an intimate act to just lend your ear and listen respectfully to your mate and what's on their mind.
10. Add ROMANCE to your relationship. Last but not least, being intimate often more than not is a chance to be romantic and add some ROMANCE to your relationship. Refer to the crash course and past blog posts.
This month try all of these suggestions and come back and tell me how it went here and on my Facebook page.